THE THOUSAND LOST WORDS
There are words for this but I don’t know them.
I wake full of speech that clutches at me.
I dream I am drowning
And that I keep secrets from myself.
What then do I know?
That I drown, and drowning takes me to the door of mystery.
I am inarticular, mute,
Wishing I knew with the clarity of prophets
And could speak this feeling that fills me to weeping.
There is a temple made of fallen rocks that still hold the flame
There is a long armed moon
And a wave that swells from ocean to ocean. There is a language of light.
From the beginning,
It was love that moved through me, that brought me here,
And it was the knowledge that the gift of becoming human
Is the most precious
To take breath in this world of substance
To walk this earth
The balance of gravity and centrifugal force
The momentous stillness inside each loop of breath.
The beauty of it all.
There are words carved in water
As water groans under its’ own weight
And heaves itself up and is suddenly breaking and leaping in the air,
Pulled by longing for the moon as she smiles and sings her arias.
She is singing in the forgotten language
The language that has a thousand words for love
And another thousand for different ways
And different qualities of
Between I and Thee.
I know I am daughter of dark and light,
I know I am initiate into the mysteries of the Thousand Loves.
I am priestess of the Song
That is sung by the moon
It was given me this task of holding the secrets
And if necessary hiding them
In sleep, in soft dark places
In silence and stones
For as long as was necessary
Till it was time to bring them forth.
I sing with the same blood as Thee, the same arching passion,
There is no separation of time or space.
It is all here.
All right now here in this verymoment.
The confounding beauty that stops small thoughts
That gives every red apple the grace of the first apple
That gives every face the authenticity of earth
And gives even the pain of our losses, a rapture
As grief breaks the membranes between each cell and love washed through us
Into places that have hardened
Places in us that normal breathing cannot penetrate.
Love spreads throughout our bodies so that we come to now,
Again and again,
That Love is our true nature,
That I am Love
As Thou art.
What else do I know?
I know longing is a magnet
And the urge behind my birth.
I dwell in the ache of distance, the moon to the ocean.
Silent she rides the night,
And eloquent as the original tongue.
She drinks from the cup of our hearts
She laughs to us, crying –
All that you long for
Is already yours!
The illusion of time melts like a vapour
Rising with the day to reveal
The planes of eternity
The circles of being
The Alpha and Omega
The star and the fish
The air and the flower
The holy places everywhere!
The Priestess breathes easy at last
And is permitted her husband,
The sacred marriage is celebrated.
The lost one is returned
The holy ones are putting forth beauty in every moment
And everywhere and everything
Is singing the song
Of the thousand lost words for love.
Written in Valetta, Malta, 2002